Mackenzie and Shayne
How We Met
Before I dive into our story, I wanted to give you some background information to help with following the love timeline.
Dealing with boys and college can be one of the most complicated parts of growing up and being on your own. Your parents no longer control what you do, who you hang out with, and when you need to be home. However, 8 times out of 10 relationships result in confusing text messages, mixed emotions, commitment complications, and Ben and Jerry ice cream. (Now I am just guessing on that statistic so do not go crazy about whether it is actually right or not but it sure seems like it is).
So, after starting college and having a failed relationship my freshman year, I decided that I was not interested in constantly trying to be with a boy. Rather, I decided to just focus on discovering myself and following my dreams.
Now, at the time that was truly the best decision that I could have made for myself and I have my boss and Freshman Seminar teacher, Jessica, to thank for that. She took me into her office and told me that I needed to not date anyone until at least my senior year. I agreed and went on with my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I still dated every now and then while in college, but I never found anyone really worthy of a commitment. I soon learned that not committing to a serious relationship in college proved to be such a fantastic idea for me (now I am not saying that this is right for everyone, but it was for me).
Not being in a relationship pushed me out of my comfort zone. I joined multiple different organizations, which later led to leadership roles, found my home away from home with my sorority, dived into my studies, and met new people that led to the most amazing friends, spent time at family events, and traveled both in the United States and abroad.
If I would have had a relationship at the time then I would have been consumed with being with him and I would not have bothered exploring new possibilities.
Then my senior year rolled around and the engagement and wedding announcements started rolling in all over social media and it was at that point that I thought to myself, well it is senior year so I might as well keep my options open when it comes to dating. After not really having any luck and discovering that the only guys I wanted to hang out with were my best friends, I decided to just wait until after I graduated to pursue a relationship.
I went ahead and carried on with my senior year, because it honestly was the best year of college I had ever had. Until March 11th when I stepped onto the Student Government Association bus that was taking us to Jefferson City, MO to tour the State Capitol. I had convinced almost all of my favorite people to come on the trip so I was extremely excited for it. I sat down with one of my best friends Mitchel,l and as I looked towards the back of the bus I saw the most handsome man that I had ever seen sitting there.
I immediately asked Mitchell if he knew who he was and he told me his name was Shayne. So I decided, it is my senior year I am going to go back there and talk to him. I am two months away from graduation so what can go wrong? I interrupted his life contemplation to say hello and introduce myself as the Student Body President and that is when it all began. All of my guy friends loved him so we all hung out the rest of the day and I tried my hardest to show that I was definitely interested in him. I pulled out all the lines. I told him that we needed to add each other on Facebook and then gave him my phone number if he had any questions about joining SGA. Of course, he did not realize that I was flirting at all so it took a very long time for him to catch on.
I was having my usual friendship date with Mitchell and I was complaining about how I had tried to talk to Shayne but that I was giving up because I did not think that he was interested in me. So Mitchell decided to talk matters into his own hands and he texted Shayne and said “If you like Mackenzie then you should just tell her”. Not even five minutes later I received a text from my future husband saying….drum roll please for the line that started our relationship…
“Do you smoke pot.”
Now obviously this is not the text that I was really looking for so I waited to respond. While I waited I got another text message from this man that said….
“Because I think weed be good together, oh and btw I do not smoke pot” Isn’t he just such a romantic J
After that we began dating and we very quickly became infatuated with one another. He used roses, cider, and a stuffed animal to ask me to be his and that definitely made up for that first pick up line that I first got. Neither one of us had felt so comfortable, loved, and appreciated around a significant other before.
It was an incredible feeling.
We would stay up for hours talking about everything; he would spoil me, comfort me, and calm me down. We made each other better people. We loved God together; we drank tea, rescued cats, and traveled. It was a perfect match until he told me that he was going to be studying abroad in New Zealand for a semester and I was going to be graduating and getting a job. We were at a lost on what to do, but we decided that we were meant to be together so we stuck it out and it turned out to be the best decision that either one of us has ever made.
So now you know how our love story began. It began on a yellow school bus headed to my old hometown.
How He Asked
Have you ever met that one person that completely changed your life?
That’s what it felt like when I met Shayne.
Now naturally there have been many people that have come into my life and changed it for the better, but Shayne was different.
He was the first man that truly ever changed me and when I say change me, I do not mean that he made me a different person. I mean that he made me want to be a better person. Dating him I was able to see myself through his eyes and not just my own.
He saw me as more than I ever thought I would see myself.
I saw myself as someone that was overly bossy, not always compassionate, a little too sassy, not as confident in my abilities as I should be, and constantly wondering if I was pretty enough.
Shayne, though, changed all of that.
He made me realize that bossy can be a positive when you are doing it in a constructive way that benefits others. He helped show me that I was more compassionate then I once thought I was and that my heart truly was in nonprofit work.
He taught me that sassy was good and that it was a part of my personality that makes me who I am.
More importantly, though, he helped with my confidence by making me feel capable, beautiful, and competent. He encouraged me to continue to go after my goals and dreams, but chase after those together.
While I was in college, I always felt like the type of man I needed was not around. I felt like my standards were too high and my goals were too intense for a relationship. Friends of mine would tell me that I needed to lower my standards and I refused to do that. So if there is only one part of this post that stands out to you, I want it to be that you should never lower your standards if those standards equal the best possible man that you can think of.
Now, do not create standards about the man being wealthy, driving a Ferrari, or owning Express clothes. Make them realistic standards that will make you happy because money and looks will never lead you to a fulfilled life. Trust me, after watching my parents over their thirty years of marriage, the love and the character of the partner matter.
Shayne was the only man to ever match all of the goals I had for my future husband. (I use the term goals because I am an extremely goal orientated person so finding Shayne met all my goals and exceeded the dreams that I had for life)
In a way, Shayne and I are almost better together then we are apart, because we bring out the absolute best in one another.
During the course of our relationship there were many moments that made me realize that he was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and marry.
The most important moment came when we were on one of our Netflix dates after a long day of meetings, work, and classes. We were just relaxing and talking and we got on the topic of our relationships with God and we both realized in that moment that our main goal for our relationship was to build a relationship that was centered around the Lord.
Now obviously, I am not going to bore you all by walking you through every moment that showed me why Shayne was the one, but I wanted to highlight some of the factors that I feel like all relationships should have in order to be successful.
Take care of each other-when one of you is sick help each other, divide the chores, walk at their pace on an evening stroll, or write them an encouraging note when they have had a hard day
Do not add to their anger-when they are upset do not fuel their fire (making them more upset by talking negatively about what they are already angry about does no good) calm them down and help them talk it through.
Listen to them-do not listen so that you can respond, but really listen and think.
Always communicate-talk about anything and everything (do not hold anything in).
Be real-if you are not fine then do not say that you are fine, let them know what is going on.
Share Goals and Dreams-accomplishing goals with the people you love is an amazing feeling, but realize your goals change as your life changes. (My goals in college were always to be able to move to Washington DC and work for an agency there but that changed when true love came into play.)
Tolerate their interests-if they love sports then watch a game sometimes or take them to one.
Never go to bed angry.
Kiss every time you leave each other.
Remember that what you say cannot easily be forgotten, so be kind with your words.
Always love deeply.
Over the course of our relationship, Shayne and I slowly shared all of these moments together. Some may think that we got engaged too quickly, but I do not think you can ever put a time limit on when you will know who you should spend your life with. People can be together for years and not last, so time does not equal success; it is about value and love of each other and about not wanting to wait to fully commit yourself to one another and start your life as one.
Now that I have gone through some more background, I want to tell you about one of the best days of my life and that was when Shayne Patrick Fisk asked me to marry him.
Shayne has been studying abroad in Auckland, New Zealand since August so we decided before he left that I was going to come out and visit him during his two-week break from school.
I will do another blog post about my trip to Auckland, but for now I want to stick with the engagement story.
While I was in New Zealand we had decided to visit Hobbiton which is one the movie sets in the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies.
Not many people know that I am a HUGE Lord of the Rings fan. When I was on the other New Zealand island, I took a Lord of the Rings tour to see the different locations used in the movie. Naturally, I had always wanted to tour The Hobbit Set! It was definitely something that had been on my bucket list for a long time!
We began the journey backpacking through the island with his host mom and sister. Little did I know that as soon as the journey began, Shayne realized that he had forgotten the ring in his room so everyone was contacting his host dad and brother to get it mailed to us so he could propose.
It’s kind of ironic that he forgot the ring and was proposing on a Lord of the Rings Tour..hehehe
We arrived in Matamata the night before our tour and had the most incredible cabin I had ever stayed in. The ring had arrived at our hotel, so Shayne after many attempts to ditch me got me to stay in the room while he got the ring from the hotel manager. (Details to come in my blog about the trip.)
We watched The Hobbit, got some rest, and then headed to Hobbiton the next day.
When we got into the check-in location the lady kept yelling, “How do we do a private tour!” I was very confused as to why we were having a private tour, but Shayne is so good and I am so oblivious sometimes that he told me that the 11am tour was full so he had to book a private tour and I believed him.
I was so excited to see the set that I was on the verge of tears anyway. In my other blog, I will go more into detail about Hobbiton itself, but on this blog I want to focus on the proposal.
The private tour was incredible. Our tour guide was our personal photographer and if you know me, you know that was a huge deal.
We were on our way to Bill Bo Baggins’ (the lead character of The Hobbit) hobbit hole when we realized normally they do not allow people to walk up to the famous spot but our tour guide was the best in the world and she allowed us to walk up there.
While I was exploring the inside of the hole, I did not realize that behind me Shayne was pulling out a small grey box.
As I turned around, I saw the man of my dreams on one knee with that small grey box opened. I was immediately shocked and so emotional that I did not hear a word he said and he truly did have a lovely speech (he repeated it afterwards once the shock wore off).
Thankful I did hear seven of the most incredible words I have ever heard, “Mackenzie Elizabeth Martin, will you marry me?”
The rest of the day was completely a dream: get drinks at the pub to celebrate, finish our tour, and tell everyone about our love story.