Alanda and Adit

How We Met: In April 2010, I was invited to be interviewed at a radio station to talk about Indonesia’s National Women Empowerment Day. There were a couple of radio hosts for the show, one of them was Adit. For me, he seemed like a cool guy who does not talk much. We exchanged phone numbers after the interview, and remained friends. A few months later, Adit asked me out to have a casual chat over coffee because we lived in the same suburb. We talked for hours, but the meet-up did not escalate into having a proper “date”. So, yet again, we remained friends.

However, both of our jobs require a lot of traveling. Therefore, whenever I see him posting a status on social media that he was going to travel somewhere, I regularly text him good luck and wish he would have a safe flight, and vice versa. It was the furthest point we ever got in our conversations, as we also never coincidentally go to the same destination.

In January 2013, he randomly texted hi and asked me about the TV series The Newsroom. (I know, completely random, right?!). The conversation went longer than expected, until he asked me out and I said yes. Later on, he told me that he had always been interested in me, but had not found “the right timing” to go on a date with me, until that day.

We went on dates for four months until he asked me to be his girlfriend in April 2013 — three years after we first met.

How He Asked: We were celebrating our 20th month of being together. It was a Saturday, and just like any of our other Saturdays, he picked me up at home to go out and spend the evening together. He dressed casually, so I did too (well, I put on a “casual” dress, though — I am usually the t-shirt and jeans girl). Upon seeing me, he asked, “Why are you dressing so nicely?”. I responded, “Well, this is our 20th month of being together…right?”

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He laughed and said, “Right, right.” and he drove me to meet my dentist and get a haircut. A really casual evening, indeed. He told me he originally wanted to have a fine dining experience at Shangri-La Hotel, but he canceled his plan.

After the hair cut, he was driving to a certain direction and asked me, “Do you already know where am I going to take you out for dinner if I am driving this way?”

I had my guess. There is a restaurant we used to often have dinner at, and haven’t visited for a while. “I think I know.”

He said, “Okay. If you do, then tell me to which direction should I drive.” I then pointed out ways to reach that restaurant.

When we reached the restaurant, I asked, “Is this the place you were taking me?” and he said yes.

We then spent some hours having coffee followed by a nice dinner and talked about so many things because one week later, he was going to move to Melbourne, Australia, to pursue his Masters degree for two years. Although it was something that we had been looking forward to, we just wanted to have a nice evening of chitchats and good food. After we have finished our plates, he suddenly held my hand and gave a “summary” of 20 months us being together. At the end of it, he said, “I know we had been through a lot of ups and downs, with most of the ‘downs’ caused by me and my struggle in pursuing all these scholarships for Masters… But, to this day, you have been the only woman who’s able to handle me in my lowest points really well. So, Alanda, will you marry me?”

With a blushing face and “a butterfly belly”, I said yes.

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After dinner, he drove me home and went to meet my parents to let them know his intention on marrying me. Three days later, we arranged a small and intimate engagement party – just in time before him flying to Melbourne, with family and friends.